I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
