butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
