I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
