Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
