I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize