Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize