just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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