she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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