Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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