remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize