If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
