I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
