i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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