It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just pynch a tree in the face
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
