Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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