Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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