Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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