this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize