I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize