Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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