Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
