Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
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You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
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I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.