if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house