Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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