I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
