nut hugger
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
