don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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