uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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