So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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