I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
its not stalking. its research.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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