her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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