I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i can't believe i had my finger in that
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
