I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
