I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
