So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
