When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
When are your genitals available?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
