I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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