I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he puts the penis in happiness.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
