Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
