you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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