Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Dick very happy bro
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
