She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
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Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
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well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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