saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
one two three fourrrrnication!
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There r osticjed everywhere
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
