totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
NoShamevember. You game?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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