i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
