well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
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Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
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I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I did not marry a roomba.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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