omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
