i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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