One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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