I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
