who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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