new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I am midnight drunk by noon
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Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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