Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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