Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The beer is more important than you right now.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
