Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize
