i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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