Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
True strength comes from lack of pants
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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